But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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