4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
