you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
