Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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