Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize