Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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