Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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