When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
