you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
