Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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