He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize