By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
