I just made out with a guy for $7.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
We need to rekindle our bromance
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
