Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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