i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
