The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
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