Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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