What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
