I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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