So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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