I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
