Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
