New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
