He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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