he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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