You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
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