You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
