love makes seman taste better
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
