I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
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