I love black thongs
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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