if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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