even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
handjob tips. give me some.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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