my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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