Swine flu. Run for my life!
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
