Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
