Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
