oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
third nipple confirmed
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
