we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
