You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Did you pee in the oven last night??
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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