idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
