friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We talked him into tasing himself.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
