Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize