Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
