I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Mom said you looked used
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
