At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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