Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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