Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
this just has baby written all over it
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
