he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
