oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I have feelings that need drinking.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
