at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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