Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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