Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
