What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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