the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
