No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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