He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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