i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
