You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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