Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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