I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
