he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Oh god it's open bar.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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