I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
