dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Randomize
