i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
