Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize
